Listen… really listen! (not just waiting for that pause when you can jump in and start your bigger, better story)

            There are some articles I find along the way that gives quite an impact in my life. One that I want to share is an article I found in The Reader’s Digest long long time ago. I don’t even remember the title, but it’s about how to really listen when someone is talking to you.

            The article started with how the writer accepted a telephone call from her friend, telling her about an incident the friend experienced. Just as the writer wanted to tell the friend about her similar experience, someone came knocking at the friend’s door, forcing the telephone call to end. But before the telephone call end, the friend thanked the writer, saying that “It is rare to find someone who truly wants to listen, and not just waiting for that pause to tell a similar, better and bigger version of the story.”

            Does is sound familiar? Sadly, I have to say yes. After reading that article, I took a hard look at myself and the people surrounding me. How many friends can we truly say as good listeners and not just someone who always has a bigger, better version of our story? Not that many, right? No wonder we have to pay psychologist / psychiatrists to listen to our story. It’s THAT rare!

            Being a mother, I find the competition to say who has the most intelligent, or if not intelligent, then the cutest child, even more horrifying. You would find this following dialogue common among mothers:

Mother A        : “My son said this yesterday..”

Mother B         : “Oh, but my son can say it in BRITISH accent… only yesterday he said .. yada yada yada…”

I mean, seriously, this is NOT about you, Mother B! Let Mother A’s child have the limelight, if only for a moment,. Sure, sure, Mother B would probably say, “I’m just sharing.. there’s nothing wrong in that, is there?”. Yeah, right.

So we come to the end of this article, which, I hope, would make us take a good look at ourselves and ask before we make any comments on someone’s story, “Am I doing this for the betterment of the other person or am I doing this just to make me feel good about myself?”. If it’s the former, good! (though I must say that you are probably a good liar yourself.. haha). If it’s the latter, then stop!  Listen! This is about THE OTHER PERSON’S story or feeling and NOT about you! (note: the use of capitals for THE OTHER PERSON and lower case for you is not accidental.)

USEFUL VOCAB:

rare                    : very unusual

horrifying          : very shocking

limelight            : attention from the public

the former         : the first of two people or things that have just been talked about

the latter            : the second of two people or things that have just been talked about

not accidental    : intended

Word count : 502 words