I guess because I’m married, some single friends of mine sometimes ask me about their love problems (or it’s just may be because I look like a cheap shrink). Some of them have problematic love stories, or the lack thereof is problematic in itself. But one problem some of them mention would be the existence (or non-existence) of these so-called sparks.
So what is this little word that carries the burden of being blamed by some of my friends? According to one, it’s the non-normal feeling you get from being near a person that you like. Well let me tell you, my dear single friends, “sparks” may be good, but there are other more important things in a love life. (Talking like a true cheap shrink).
When I first met my husband, the non-normal feeling I had for him was that I disliked him. He looked okay, but the aura he emitted was a hostile one. I didn’t understand it, but it seemed to me that he didn’t like girls, or life, in general. But, cliché speaks, we ended up getting together, been together for 11 years, been married in 6 of which, and have a son that I so like to talk about.. (what mother doesn’t?).
It is true that there were, and are, times when just the sight of him can drop my heart to my knee, but for the most part of our relationship, an adjective I can use to describe it would be “comfortable”. I can talk about anything to him without the fear of sounding like a ditzy lady, or dress up whatever I like without the fear of looking like a bum. I can be what I want to be without changing my shape (literally AND not literally), and know that he would still be there with me, clinging like a chewing gum on the sole of a shoe (why does it come out so wrong?).
At the start of our relationship, he told me that a good relationship was like sitting in a crowded public transport. (“Huh?”. Hold on.. it gets better after this). If you know that you were going to be in it just for a short while, of course it would be okay to sit uncomfortably, with half butt sitting on the bench and the other half hanging mid-air. But would you be willing to do so knowing you’re going to be in it for a long time? “Being in a relationship is like that,” he said, “Find a comfortable position where you can be yourself and not in an awkward position because this relationship is going to be for a long time..” And, young and fool as I was, I fell for that.. haha…
So spark is good, spark is fun. But first and foremost, look for someone who can make you be you. Be with someone you can share your thoughts and dreams. Be with someone you can see your future with.
Be comfortable sitting in that public transport. It’s going to be a long ride.
USEFUL VOCAB:
Thereof : relating to what has just been said
Spark (literally) : a very small, bright piece of burning material
Comfortable : If you are comfortable in a situation, you do not have any worries about it.
Willing : to be happy to do something, if you need to
Awkward : difficult or causing problems
Word count : 574
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