When GOD created Down Syndrome children

This post is inspired by Erma Bombeck’s article ‘The Special Mother’. Erma Bombeck was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life from the mid-1960s until the late 1990s.

When GOD created Down Syndrome children

“You’re still listening to HVN FM, the station that will surely brighten your day. This is Late Night Show with God. Next caller, you’re on.”

“Uhmm.. Is this God? First of all, let me say thank You for creating me, this earth and all the things inside it.”

“You’re very welcome. Now, what’s your question for tonight?”

“I, urmm… I just wanna ask You.. ermm.. when you decide to create babies with .. with defect, like say.. Down syndrome babies.. why, ah.. why do You do that? Is it just some kind of glitch in the whole creation system? I really don’t understand why You would create imperfection when we both know You can do much much better.”

There was a hint of amusement in God’s voice when He answered, “Surely by now you know that there are no such things as coincidence? All that I have created, all that I have planned, are there in their perfect place, in their perfect time.”

“But, God, those babies! They will not be able to fend for themselves, and even if they want to learn how, they will have to do it in a much slower pace, in a much difficult process than perfectly normal ones. Why do you let them suffer?”

“Have you ever taken a look at babies born with Down Syndrome? Have you ever watch them sleep? Always with a smile tugging at their lips. Some people say that Down syndrome children are the happiest children on earth. And for once I have to agree with My creation. Imperfect for whom? I would say that perfection is in the eye of the beholder.”

The caller persisted. “It may be so, but what about the parents? They’re the ones who will suffer even more than the babies. Think about the dads and the moms. They won’t be able to brag about their children to their friends, who, if I may add, will try to avoid them, not knowing what to say, or how to act around them. On top of them all, they will have to put so much, so much effort in raising their children. Why God?”

“Yes, I admit that there will be hard times. Much more than what parents of normal babies will experience in their whole life. There will be times when they simply want to raise their hand and quit, fully aware that they cannot. There will be times when just going through day by day will be a much easier task, for the future is too frightening to imagine. But don’t forget that I would never, never allow this to happen to them if I am not sure they’re strong enough.”

“Through raising their child they will find endless spring of patience within themselves. Because though there will be dark times, there will also be bright days, when they will hug their children and say ‘I wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world. You’re just perfect.’”

“They will cherish all the small accomplishments they children achieve that most parents take for granted. They will celebrate their children’s first step. They will cherish their children’s first word. For them there are no such things as ‘Not good enough.’”

“They will find strength in each other. Though there will be times when the weight of the situation will put a strain in their relationship, their love will mature beyond what they bargained for when they said, “I do.” For them, petty things, like not giving flowers in all the appropriate occasions, or not saying “I love you” enough will remain just that. Petty.”

“Never, never underestimate the strength of moms and dads.”

“And they will find strength in their true friends. People that may not be able to understand fully what they’re going through, but still lend their ears, their shoulder nevertheless. People who will say, ‘I’m just one phone call away. Please, please call me.’”

“And don’t you forget, I will be there with them all the way.”

This post is dedicated to Baby Keandra, who, though I haven’t met personally, have managed to open my eyes and my heart to a different perfection of God’s creation. Baby Keandra was born with Down Syndrome and a defect in the heart. He is in dire need of costly surgery. Read his story in http://adittaslim.tumblr.com/ and prepare to fall in love with this little angel. Whatever contribution can be made will be greatly appreciated. Thanks so much!

Dream maker

Dream maker

It is good to be with someone who wants to be with you for better, in health, in good times, and in joy. But wouldn’t it be better to be with someone who knows that, of course, in the years to come you’re going to go through the other half of the bargain and is still willing to say, “I do.”?

It is good to be with someone who can make your heart beat faster with the mere sight of him. But wouldn’t it be better to be with someone who can make your heart melt whenever you see him cuddle up with the son you created together?

It is good to be with someone who shouts to the world that he loves you. But wouldn’t it be better to be with someone whose actions speak subtly enough that you’re his world?

It is good to be with someone who gives you flowers on your birthdays or just because. But wouldn’t it be better to be with someone who gives a damn to your sorrow and despair?

And it is definitely good to be with someone who understands your dreams. But wouldn’t it be better to be with someone who not only understand them but believe in you so much to push you to dream better dreams than the ones you allow yourself to hope for?

This one is for you. Rikiy. My husband. The owner of a third of my heart.

My dream maker.

A Letter to Jiwo

Dear Jiwo,

I love you not because of your accomplishments. Winning competitions, getting good scores at school, or getting stickers from your teacher because you could read the words she wrote on the black board make me proud because I know how hard you try.  

I love you not because of the good things that you do. Cleaning up your mess, kissing my knee to make the hurt go away, and saying just the right thing when I was tired make me happy because they tell me how big and kind your heart is.

I won’t stop loving you because of the bad things that you do. Whining, refusing to clean up you toys, and not being careful even after I told you to so many times won’t stop me from loving you because even when I’m angry I love you so much still.

When you grow old and have kids on your own, I will still love you as much as the first day you started your journey here on earth.

Whatever you do and whatever you don’t do, when you achieve and when you fail, I will love always.

Simply because you’re my son.

Love,

Mama

Turn those gadgets off… NOW! (no pressure, though..)

Remember the days when apple was just that red round thing responsible for the discovery of gravity? Or when blackberry was just a fruit full of vitamin A, potassium, and calcium? Those were the good days… when people didn’t sue each other because of something they didn’t even mean to say in social networks.. when mothers paid more attention to their children instead of their cell phones… when TV was used to gather family members instead of being used as a tool to silence a child’s desire to ask ‘why?’.

Do I sound like a middle-aged technophobe? Maybe I am.. the technophobe part , I mean,  not the middle-age part…. I think… But I must admit that I’m not THAT keen on technology… Sure, sure, there are times when my life, not to mention my writing, has been improved by it.. (from where do you think I get the information about what black berry is full of?), but do we truly need all those gadgets?

 My husband and I once didn’t have a TV for more than a year. After the birth of our son, we decided to donate the TV to my husband’s parents, as the one that they had at that time was so ancient it didn’t have a remote control (seriously). We lived in this small studio-like room, so a TV, with its sound, glare, and radiation was definitely not high on our list.

I didn’t miss it AT ALL. I didn’t miss the gossips, the news about this disaster, that accident, this politician going here, that celebrity going there. I just didn’t. That one-year-of-TV-less experience led me to a conclusion that my life was not THAT enriched by the existence of it. On the contrary, I found that by not having one, I could concentrate on raising my son, really talking and reading to him, and watching him grew. And I also did a lot of talking to my husband (among other things), instead of just sitting like zombies watching nothing.

Sadly, I have to admit that we are now the proud owner of 42-inch flat LCD TV.. But it was MY HUSBAND who succumbed to the temptation of it, NOT ME.. (and this is coming from a person who wrote something about not liking excuses.. ) 

Maybe I AM getting older. People say that older people dislike technology. Maybe I AM a typical female. People say a typical female wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between tablet the gadget or tablet the medicine. But if I have to be all that to: communicate with people with my mouth instead of my thumbs and fingers, spend precious time with my son, who still thinks I’m the centre of his universe, have meaningful conversation with my husband, smell the real smell of flowers instead of the ones posted in Flickr, and enjoy life more, so be it. I’ll wear that Typical-Technophobe-Female badge proudly on my sleeve.

USEFUL VOCAB :

Middle-aged       : in the middle of your life before you are old

Technophobe     : someone you hates technology

Gadget               : a small piece of equipment that does a particular job, especially a new type

Succumb            : to not be able to stop yourself doing something

Temptation         : a feeling that you want to do or have something, although you know you should not

Wear (your heart) on your sleeve : display one's emotions openly

Word count : 575 words

Excuses, excuses

         

            I hate excuses. Especially ones which are used as justification for something bad that we cannot stop or things we cannot do.

If you cannot stop smoking, don’t go around proudly saying research says being a passive smoker is more dangerous that being an active one. Have you ever seen the government’s warning at the end of cigarette commercials saying “NO smoking can harm your pregnancy and causes impotence”?

            If you love your job more than you love your family, don’t go around saying that quality time is more important than quantity. There IS quality in quantity!

            If you cannot successfully abort your second child, don’t go around saying “An only child will grow up to be anti-social” to people who choose to only have one son.

            If you cannot get the score you want in a test because you’re not as smart as you think, don’t say it’s because the computer can’t read you answers.

Don’t hide behind excuses! Take full responsibilities of our actions!

I like seeing people who are disabled or people who are put in a difficult situation make something out of their lives. They are true motivators for they prove that situation or whatever it is that makes life difficult for these people don’t stop them from achieving something good. That by not making excuses they can move forward and inspire people.

Maybe that’s why there’s so much unhappiness in people’s lives.

Maybe that’s why there are so many families torn apart.

Maybe that’s why my country is not as developed as other Asian countries.

Maybe that’s why this world is full of hatred and wars.

And that’s exactly why I don’t teach my son to hit and blame the floor whenever he falls.

All those so-called sparks can burn you to ashes

 I guess because I’m married, some single friends of mine sometimes ask me about their love problems (or it’s just may be because I look like a cheap shrink). Some of them have problematic love stories, or the lack thereof is problematic in itself. But one problem some of them mention would be the existence (or non-existence) of these so-called sparks.

            So what is this little word that carries the burden of being blamed by some of my friends? According to one, it’s the non-normal feeling you get from being near a person that you like. Well let me tell you, my dear single friends, “sparks” may be good, but there are other more important things in a love life. (Talking like a true cheap shrink).

            When I first met my husband, the non-normal feeling I had for him was that I disliked him. He looked okay, but the aura he emitted was a hostile one. I didn’t understand it, but it seemed to me that he didn’t like girls, or life, in general. But, cliché speaks, we ended up getting together, been together for 11 years, been married in 6 of which, and have a son that I so like to talk about.. (what mother doesn’t?).

It is true that there were, and are, times when just the sight of him can drop my heart to my knee, but for the most part of our relationship, an adjective I can use to describe it would be “comfortable”. I can talk about anything to him without the fear of sounding like a ditzy lady, or dress up whatever I like without the fear of looking like a bum. I can be what I want to be without changing my shape (literally AND not literally), and know that he would still be there with me, clinging like a chewing gum on the sole of a shoe (why  does it come out so wrong?).

             At the start of our relationship, he told me that a good relationship was like sitting in a crowded public transport. (“Huh?”. Hold on.. it gets better after this). If you know that you were going to be in it just for a short while, of course it would be okay to sit uncomfortably, with half butt sitting on the bench and the other half hanging mid-air. But would you be willing to do so knowing you’re going to be in it for a long time? “Being in a relationship is like that,” he said, “Find a comfortable position where you can be yourself and not in an awkward position because this relationship is going to be for a long time..” And, young and fool as I was, I fell for that.. haha…

            So spark is good, spark is fun. But first and foremost, look for someone who can make you be you. Be with someone you can share your thoughts and dreams. Be with someone you can see your future with.

Be comfortable sitting in that public transport. It’s going to be a long ride.

USEFUL VOCAB:

Thereof                    : relating to what has just been said

Spark (literally)         : a very small, bright piece of burning material

Comfortable             : If you are comfortable in a situation, you do not have any worries about it.

Willing                      : to be happy to do something, if you need to

Awkward                 : difficult or causing problems

Word count : 574

Take the eyes of a child and enjoy the world

            For a child, everyday is an adventure.. There are infinite possibilities for everything. Should I choose this or that? Should I do this or that? Looking at my son I sometimes feel that my life isn’t as exciting as his. Why shouldn’t it be? We share the same world. We even live in the same house, for crying out loud.

            Whenever I take a walk with my son, he always stops at intervals to pay attention to small things, be it a dead bug, a dry stick, or some water in a gutter. And most of the time, I will try to stop and appreciate those things as well.

Is it easy? Nooo.. When I am in a rush, those observations of this wonderful world will become an annoyance. I will sometimes say to him, ‘Leave it be. It’s dirty..’ or, ‘We don’t have time for this’. But that doesn’t stop him to pause and pick or ask me things.

You may think that he’s simply a boy who doesn’t listen to his mother. Maybe, maybe.. but I’d like to think that he feels that the mundane activities such as going to the office or going to school are and can be as exciting as those little things.

So what’s the moral of my babbling? Maybe it’s this: in life there are things that are important, or those which you can’t avoid from doing; but along the way, try to smell the flowers. Cherish little things that you can pick on your journey. Looking at the big picture of life’s journey, those little things are ones that support you and ones that sustain you when it seems difficult to move on. Cherish life and open your eyes to the world like a child does!

Key vocabulary:

Infinite      : without limits or without an end

Exciting     : making you feel very happy and enthusiastic

Mundane   : ordinary, or not interesting

Cherish      : to love someone or something very much and take care of them

Sustain      : to support someone or something so that they can live or exist

Word count : 357 words